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Am I Wasting My Life With Him?

“Are you in a complicated relationship? Does he unintentionally give you mixed signals? Do you constantly wonder where you stand with him and whether or not you have a future?

This is all too common. Some men have avoidant attachment styles, which means they claim to want intimacy but do whatever they can to avoid it. Some men are selfish and excited to court you and seduce you, but not excited about being great boyfriends. Some men are perfectly content as boyfriends but never want to get married. Some men are genuinely confused about what they want and how they feel about you.

So what do you do when you’re in love with him, but you don’t feel safe? What happens when the guy who seemed really into you stops texting, complimenting, and initiating sex. What’s the point of a relationship with a man who claims to love me but doesn’t act like it?

If you’re up in the middle of the night, wondering, “”Am I wasting my time in this relationship?”” you’re in the right place.

Want to end your confusion about whether Mr. Inconsistent can become Mr. Right? Keep reading…”

Hi Evan, My boyfriend of 2 1/2 years (off and on) says he loves me everyday, but his actions don’t follow his words. He doesn’t show me affection or attention, either physically or verbally. By this I mean he does not send text messages to say good morning anymore, he calls sometimes, but never to just say “Hi, I am thinking of you”; it’s always just to ask a financial question or work-related question. Sometimes he calls to tell me he needs something or to tell me something that happened to him. He never builds me up with kind or sweet words like he did in the beginning. He very rarely touches me, and sex has diminished ALOT over the last 10 months. It’s as though he lives in his world by himself, and so I am supposed to live by myself in mine, yet we live together…. I’m not saying that I require these things everyday, but every once in a while it would be nice to know that he thinks I am pretty or sweet or SOMETHING. I don’t think I am being too high maintenance by wanting his attention, but then again, I am not a guy and don’t know what they think or why they think it. He has asked me about marrying him a few times; I say “about” because he later told me that he was just asking to see where I was on the subject, not REALLY asking. Yet if he says something to me involving marrying him, I playfully reply with “I haven’t been asked”, to which he replies, “I have asked you”. So now not only does his behavior confuse me, but I cant help but wonder is he just not that into me, but afraid to break up? What do I do? I feel like I am in a sea of uncertainty and wasting my life away waiting on him. Your thoughts? —Michelle

Michelle,

My thoughts?

You don’t really want my thoughts, do you?

My thoughts are merely going to challenge your worldview, rock the axis of your earth, and change the course of your entire life.

That’s a lot of impact you’re willing to give some stranger who gives dating advice.

I don’t understand this phenomenon of “My boyfriend is totally indifferent towards me; how can I lock him in for the rest of my life?”

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